The short of it is that I suck at forms - including web entry forms. At best they bore me; at worst they depress me. Even with Roboform, Fillr or any magic wand of wondrousness, entering and re-entering my address into a hundred-odd forms in a single sitting is like putting my mojo through the mangle. It takes a special kind of focus that I simply lack.
And so I quit them. Why, after all, pursue something that makes you unhappy? Surely, that’s the very definition of madness?
And yet … Here I am. Staring down the 50th web form of the night. Telling myself that I WILL win that holiday.
I’ve gone months without a web-form bender and suddenly the wagon is rumbling off without me. How did it get to this?!
I’ve written elsewhere about my need for validation. But this is different. This is big-game hunting. Holidays - strictly holidays. This isn’t about savouring the fleeting high notes of a protein bar or a bit of milk, it’s about needing a break - needing light at the end of my tunnel.
That’s why these binges always focus on weekend breaks and holidays. As my dad used to say, sometimes it’s better to travel than to arrive.
That maybe so, but this kind of travelling always seems to be less about the dreaming and more about the bulk deletion of marketing emails.
There’s also the uncomfortable truth that despite completing hundreds of these web forms, I’ve won precisely nothing. Why? Because thousands of other people have entered them too! The odds of winning such comps are microscopically small, and if - like me - you have a limited tolerance for web forms, it’s worth remembering this.
Comping should be fun. If you’re not enjoying it, take a break. If you can’t handle the process, try something different. And if it feels like an obligation, stop.
It was really interesting to read your other post about the need for validation because that is one of the things that drives me most in my comping hobby...It's not necessarily a good thing because i suppose it highlights a lack of self-belief in myself... but on the positive side I feel like I finally have found a hobby that I'm (generally) good at (some of the time). That holiday will come when you least expect it. The words you once told me about 'when the fun stops it's time to stop' have echoed in my mind as really wise words. I think the trouble with the form filling is once you start on a 'session' you feel the need to keep going until they're all done (well i do anyway) so i'll have about 100 or more tabs open and until they're filled in I won't go to bed. So now I just do that sort of thing less often rather than not at all. At one point it was every evening (and into the early hours of the next morning). thankfully i think i am past that now and never want to go back there.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny you mention self-belief because I recently had my first consult with a counsellor, and her initial diagnosis was that the root of my problems is a lack of self-respect. I prefer to think of it as a lack of self-esteem, but I'm probably splitting hairs. Among other things, she suggested I should focus more on writing than comping, and I see her point. As you say, if you've found a hobby that you're enjoying, that's a good thing ... But if you're not, then it's time for a break. But here's the rub - what I most enjoy writing about is comping! It looks like future blog posts will just have to be farther apart!
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